Just like the Israelites who had been wandering in the desert for 40 years, my life for the last 40 years was a soul-searching journey. Now that I am already 53 years old, I sensed that God has been leading me to realize his plan for my life. At the outset, I am a cradle Catholic but never lived up to that faith.
Since my adolescence, I got drifted away into lust and pleasures of my social environment but the moment of grace came about after reading the story of St Francis of Assisi whose turning point ‘to repair the church’ inspired me. I began to seek God intensely by attending daily masses, reading the Bible and spending time in prayers before the Blessed Sacrament. Then, for the first time, I began to hear the voice of God speaking in the silence of my heart with these words: “𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞. 𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐝” (𝐈𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐚𝐡 𝟒𝟑:𝟏)”. Subsequently, I was in tears of repentance for 3 consecutive days and experienced a deep peace within me. I felt in love with God and wanted to serve the church. So, I became a catechist in my parish and involved in several church activities. Indeed, it was a spiritual transformation beyond words.
I also sensed a calling to the priesthood but deferred this desire as my father was retiring soon and being the eldest son, I had to take the responsibility of looking after the family. I then decided to look for a job and regarded employment with the government as God’s blessing. It took me to different parts of the world. The job also offered good salary, flying on business class, staying in a 5-star hotels, attending receptions and cocktails, and networking with state and government officials as well as reputable businessmen. In all this rosy lifestyle, I find something is lacking in my life. I did not find that “uumph” or ‘yes, this is it…’ But the “uumph” came when I was working in Myanmar.
A Burmese priest by the name of Fr Gregory Thin whom I befriended had brought me to a village that was located on a hilltop. There it held a priestly ordination ceremony which saw the participation of some 100 diocesan priests with over 600 faithful. In my life, I never attended such ordination but here I am in Myanmar. There God spoke to me in my heart – “𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐆𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐭. (𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝟏𝟓:𝟏𝟔)”. My postponed desire to become a priest came to my memory. It was a touching moment. After that event, I told Fr Gregory that, “I too want to be a priest” and he said, “Nothing can hold back God’s choice, and you can be his choice for nothing is impossible with God.” That encouragement gave me hope and joy. Within a week, without a second thought, I send in my application for early retirement after serving almost 20 years. My boss approved it without any restriction. I left my job at the age of 43 in November 2015.
In December 2015, I approached some priests in the Archdiocese of Kuala Lumpur and sought their guidance in relation to my desire to become a priest. I was told to journey with the parish where I belong that is the Church of Saint Francis of Assisi in Cheras. The vocation director of the Capuchin religious order, Fr David Reegon together with the support from the Parish priest, Fr Andrew Manickam recommended me to join in their postulancy programme which can also help me to discern my calling to the priesthood. So, I joined the religious order in January 2016 and completed their 1-year postulancy but after months of discernment in this programme, I decided to change to the Diocesan priesthood. His Grace Archbishop Julian Leow accepted my seminary application in January 2017 after having consulted the formators involved in my postulancy.
Hence, I began my seminary formation at the College General of Penang where I completed my philosophy studies in 2017 and 2018. Later in 2019, I was sent to the Church of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Puchong for one-year pastoral exposure that included a training in the Clinical Pastoral Experience (CPE) where I had the opportunity to minister to the patients at the Assunta Hospital for 2.5 months. Then, in 2020, I continued formation in Theology studies at St Peter’s Major Seminary in Kuching. In May 2024, I finished my seminary formation and was assigned to the Church of St Jude, Rawang on 1st June 2024 to serve the community there. Then, on 20th July 2024, I was ordained a deacon in this Parish. On 1st October 2024, I was reassigned to the Cathedral of St John. During the priest recollection in November 2024, the Archbishop announced of my priesthood ordination on 25 January 2025 at the Church of St Francis of Assisi which falls on the feast of the conversion of St Paul. Praise God!
Over my eight years of formation in the Seminary, the bible text that underpinned my journey is “𝐃𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮” (𝐉𝐧 𝟐:𝟓). Like the Blessed Virgin Mary, who was grace-filled because she was open to doing whatever God told her to do. Similarly, when I responded to this formation, it helped to mould me in all aspects of human, spiritual, intellectual, pastoral and community living. By doing whatever God tells, my vocation became grace-filled. Although I faced struggles and challenges in my journey towards the priesthood, nonetheless the Word of God and the Eucharist continued to be my source of strength, joy and hope.
In my journey of faith, I had recognized the presence of God in the person of formators, lecturers, seminarians, parishioners, family and relatives, priests, religious, friends and even strangers who were shaping me to be Christ-centered and it also helped me to discover about myself as well my purpose of life in this world. The accompanying graces from God had indeed permeated into my human formation that enabled me to be open to the will of God and purify my intentions; spiritual formation that helped to strengthen my relationship with God and grow in holiness; intellectual formation that enhanced my knowledge of truth in philosophy and theology, and deepened my understanding on Church teachings; pastoral exposure that allowed me to learn the needs of people and be of service in steadfastness; and in community living by accepting the differences of individuals and living as a witness of Christ to others.
In God’s timing, he called me and I responded to his invitation to follow him despite my unworthiness. I envisioned that the image of my priesthood will be centred on the servanthood of 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 (𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝟐𝟎:𝟐𝟖).
Fr. Jonathan Andrew Rao
